Judas is an intriguing figure in the New Testament, and like it or not, most of humanity has something in common with him. Legends and pious tradition claim that Judas was a Levite, a scholar, and one of the most educated of Christ's Twelve Apostles. Christ evidently saw promise in him, as He called Judas into the first generation of priestly ministry as an Apostle. Yet, Judas betrayed his Lord for thirty measly pieces of silver.
If anything, Spy Wednesday should be a day where we reflect how our actions have betrayed God. Each time we sin and disobey God, we are like Judas setting into motion the painful drama of the death of our Lord. Jesus bore all of our betrayals on the cross. He was our paschal sacrifice, substituting himself in atonement for our transgressions. Since his sacrifice was once and for all, we can take hope in the fact that Christ has born all of our evils before. We need only repent and accuse ourselves in humility in order to be free of their weight on our soul. And what a relief repentance is!
This past Monday I went to confession for the first time in a very long time. I was practically sweating bullets waiting outside of the makeshift confessional set up in the sacristy. While in the process of confessing, however, it felt at times like my sins were trying to escape as I was saying them - that in truly acknowledging what I have done and what I have failed to do - I was cleansing my soul of a disease. I was admitting my betrayals of Christ; and Christ, through the ministry of the priest, was restoring me to himself. At the absolution (the point during confession when the priest, through the power of Christ and his Body, the Church, absolves penitents of their sins), I felt such a rush of relief flood over me. As I left the church that day, I felt a bit like skipping.
Our betrayals of Jesus can be forgiven, and in that forgiveness we are able to be restored by the grace of God to his family. We need only admit that we've done something wrong. This can be a very difficult thing to come to terms with. Perhaps we are like Judas - we are too smart for God, we know that our way is best and that our personal convictions our never wrong. Of course, the Biblical record tells us where this, the deadly sin of pride, gets people: expelled from Eden, drowned in a Flood, forbidden entry to the Promised Land, exiled to Babylon, etc. If we can admit we are wrong, we can admit that we are fallen. If we can admit we are fallen, we can seek to better ourselves and receive the sanctifying grace available to us through the cross of Christ.
"Go, and sin no more." - John 8:11